YET I still belong to You.

Psalm 73:22-23 

"I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you 

YET 

I still belong to you...

You hold me by my right hand. 

You will guide me with Your counsel,

And afterward receive me to glory."

Do you ever feel like a straight up skum bag? 

I know I do. 

Apparently David felt like one as well.

I was reading Psalm 73 the other day and God just began to speak to me on so many levels. But the biggest thing he reminded me of is that even when we are arrogant, or even when we slip, we STILL belong to Him. Its powerful. He brings me back to this reality often and I always learn new things about what it means. Theres something powerful about the word, "Yet." It has many definitions but this one is my favorite: 

"Still; even (used to emphasize increase or repetition)."

 or 

"but at the same time, but nevertheless"

We repeatedly fall. Our flesh fails. BUT at the same time, nevertheless, God still wants us. He likes us. He knew what he was getting into when He called you!

Did you know that God desires communion with you? We were made for love, because the Father loves. We were made to love the Father, but he also created us so that He could love on us! 

He delights in our weak, weak love.

Have you just sat in His presence lately? 

Just told him you loved him? 

Just gazed on His beauty?

Often we go to Him with requests, with intercession for others. He hears you and He wants you to ask, but sometimes He just wants us to sit with him and let Him fill you up. He will. 

There's nothing sweeter.  

I can just feel him on my heart so strong today saying "push away the distractions, your stress relievers, I am here... I can fill that space, I can be your relief. Even now in your weakness." 

I always try to write this blog from an honest place. Today is no different. This is what God is sharing with me right now and what I am striving for right now. I hope that it touches a place in your heart. I hope it provokes you to listen to the heart of the Father. I hope it makes you curious to just try it, try turning off the noise, and just sitting. This is one of the hardest things for me to do personally. But man, when I do I feel so safe, so secure, so whole. 

If you want to try this today. Here is a worship set that I can just sit in for hours. One of my favorites and at about 43:00 it reflects everything that I just wrote in this blog. Heres the link:

http://www.ihopkc.org/onething/#asset/523E89E2-80B2-25F2-3882-49A520148F18/auto/true

[extra]Ordinary Moment

Today was one of those days that you drive home in complete silence because there is no sound sweet enough, no lyric poetic enough, to compare to the reality of an experience. Let me tell you a story...

2:17 pm I am at work and get a phone call from a man, Eric, who is simply returning a call from a number he didn’t know. I inform him that it was probably one of our prayer call volunteers who calls members of the church to ask how we can be praying for them today. The conversation went something like this:

Confused, he responds, “Ok…”

Me: “So, anything we can be praying for you about today?” (routine answer)

E: “Actually… yes.”

Now, I’m used to getting these calls… people wondering why they are getting a weird call, only to find out its their church, i take the prayer request, have a nice day. This time was different though.

            E: “I just want to get back on the right track… with God.”

            Me: “Ok, well is there anything specific (I started into the digging deeper process so I could fill               out my prayer request card)… or... can I pray for you now?”

I don’t always offer this. But I just felt like… eh… why not? He accepted. I prayed for him, a pretty general prayer. Nothing super. Just a small prayer, 30 seconds of my time. After ending the prayer, Eric said…

            E: “Thank you so much. What church did you say you were from?”

HAHA! He most definitely was not a member of the church, in fact, he didn’t even know where the church was located because he lived in another town! Tickled, I told my boss, “Well I guess he just needed someone to pray with him today.”

2:46 pm The phone rings again… I answer. Its Eric.

E: “I’m sorry… I am just still sitting here trying to figure out… how did you get my number? Haha!”

After we discussed all possible options… there was no natural way that we could make sense of the phone call. Wrong number was the most realistic answer we could come up with… 

A wrong number I would argue to say was actually the right number.

Eric continued to inform me that he was going through a very rough time, and I won’t go into all of the details, but that phone call was not by accident. He told me how the phone call happened at the absolute perfect time. He told me that he knew that God had heard him. Eric told me how God wrecked him in that moment, in awe of the power of the Holy Spirit to speak to us and use others to speak to us.

He thanked me.

In my usual awkward manner, I thanked him in return. 

But the reality was I was just as in awe as he was!

I hung up the phone… for the second time. But before I continued my work…

I smiled,

took a deep breath,

and held back tears.

I go to my job, my job where it is in the description to pray for people’s needs, and I do that every day. My job that I am humbled to have, but some days still feels like work. I make it a point to call people and pray with them, I WORK at doing this… very hard… and so does everyone I work with. But in that moment, God simply reminded me that He will put those in our path that need to be.

I smiled because it made me feel…. Relieved… to know that despite all of MY efforts, God knows who to place where and at what time. 

Effortlessly.

I took a deep breath because it made me realize that as long as we are obedient to that small voice that says… Pray for him now… that God takes care of the rest. 

Powerfully

I held back tears because I realized… He used me. 

Humbling.

So, as I drove my car in silence, for the 15 min trip home, I decided to share this with you. 

Two blogs back to back… I’m on a roll!  :) 

I hope it encourages you to pray for someone. I thought Eric was a member of our church, but he might as well have been a stranger at the grocery store. Now, I’m not saying to go grab a stranger at the grocery store and pray for them… your kids would be embarrassed and the stranger might not “feel the anointing.” What I am saying is, be sensitive to opportunities. 

Don’t say “I’ll be praying for you” when it is just as easy to say, “Can I pray for you now?” 

Don’t know what to pray? Just open your mouth. God doesn’t need your words anyways, He just needs that open door.

Try it.

I bet things will change for you.

4 Months Later...

Hey... There... Folks.

It's me again, procrastinating studies as usual.
I DO NOT have a clear direction for this blog. No life lesson. Just wanna say hello.

I've given my blog a facelift, as you can see. I've been inspired recently and have done some thinking about what exactly I want to do with this blog. We already know I don't have time for it, but yet here it is... staring at me, begging me to write words.

I've changed the name of my blog to "Discovering Madi" because I feel like this is what this page has become. Me, being vulnerable, and sharing with YOU these things in my life that are shaping me, leading me to discover deeper and deeper who I really am. A never ending process, but a beautiful one at that.

I enjoy writing. When I'm not being forced to write for school, or work :)
Funny how our gifts can sometimes seem like a burden.
I can't explain why I come back to this blog.
Maybe I hope that you read it and it puts into words what you've been feeling.
Or maybe I hope that I will write and figure out what I'm trying to say, or what I've been feeling.
All I know is I want to do it.
(I hope to do it more when I'm done with school FOREVER in 4 months.)
I want to because I love the way I feel when I read something inspiring.
I want to because I can't just let that inspiration sit inside of me, I must share it!
I want to because, sometimes I think we get caught up in our 140 character status' and forget that we have more to say.

It always amazes me when I come back to this blog, read my own words, and see how far I've come from the last post. How fast time flies, so fleeting, so important. It provokes me to continue. It encourages me to look at all of the small things in my life that are actually... quite great.

So heres to a new look, new understanding, new experiences, and new commitments.
Hopefully I will be back soon, writing about something with more of a purpose.
Until then...
Give yourself credit for your own thoughts. They matter. Write it down, even if it is just to encourage yourself in few months :)

You are an Overcomer

Be Still...

HEEeeeEEeeELLLOOOOOO (Horton Hears a Who Reference)

I always start these blogs by disclosing and apologizing for being inconsistent. 

So, for traditions sake, sorry. 

Glad that is taken care of. 

Oh... Life. A lot has happened since my last blog (nearly a year ago :D EEK) and I am not going to bore you with all of the details. But in case you care, In short and no specific order... 

I still live in Tulsa

Sometimes I try new recipes and make Micah's friends eat them 

I am 9 months away from being done with school forever

You can just call me Mrs. Madison Petersen MSW (soon)

I officially signed up for a half marathon (EEK)

I have an amazing job

 God's favor is abundant

I am secretly glad fall is here (although I love summer)

my husband is cute and has a beard

 and my dog smells like something died. 

P.S. I should be doing school work right now but somehow I ended up here...

If you are extremely close to me, you know that A LOT more than that has gone on, but that is not the important part of this message. Thank you to everyone who has invested in me during this past season, You are so important to me and I thank God for you. You know who you are. :) 

I will refer back to one of my previous blogs, titled "Overcome." I have been reminded that growing up, once again, is hard. But the reward is worth it. 

God has taught me a lot lately about: 

Making decisions

 Following His voice alone

 Trusting Him with my future

and not letting fear be the deciding factor.

A lot of really TOUGH, but IMPORTANT life lessons

Learning to be an adult and rely on Him alone.

There has been times where I questioned my calling, questioned my present, questioned my past... rough stuff. But again, not the point of this blog. 

In the midst of all of these really important lessons, decisions, and transitions I can't get away from the simplicity of God's love for us. Sometimes I think that we over think our lives... at least I do... 

"What am I going to do to serve you God? I can work harder, I can suffer, I can force myself to just do this for a while until I can be ready to do what you have called me to... I'm your FAITHFUL servant" BLAH 

when really God is saying, 

"Madi- Listen to me. I have a plan for you, it's good and far better than you imagine, and you don't have to stress or figure it out, 

JUST BE OBEDIENT, 

listen to my voice, step by step, I will not lead you astray, I love you, CHILL OUT."

*I definitely have not mastered this, I don't know who has, but I share this with you to encourage you and strengthen you in hopes that in return I will grow*

I was at Yoga class today and the instructor challenged us (in a typical post modern fashion) to really live in the moment, be present, not be caught up in the past or the future but to just breathe in the present moment because it will never be the same again. Deep right... I always use the "meditation" times to pray during these classes and I was once again reminded of Psalm 46:10, "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."We get so caught up in our future plans, our past mistakes, or our current failures that we forget to simply be. 

Be Still.  

Be thankful for what God is doing in our lives RIGHT NOW

(Not distracted by what might happen in the next 4 months)

Be joyful

Be with God

Simply Be.

Still.

It is in this stillness that we can hear God! It is in this stillness that we can find rest. I think the fall season is such a good time to remember this. The weather is changing, there is a freshness in the air that reminds us that all things pass away and new things are born. Its quite beautiful actually. 

So as the leaves fall, and life seems hectic and busy, and as troubles come your way remember to take a second and be still. Trust God. Trust that you hear His voice and do not hear the voice of another. Follow Peace. Don't freak out and micromanage your future. 

And drink some Chai Tea because it is seasonally delicious 

You are an Overcomer.

John 10:3-5 "...the sheep recognize his voice and come to him. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. After he has gathered his own flock, he walks ahead of them, and they follow him because they know his voice. They won’t follow a stranger; they will run from him because they don’t know his voice.”

“Let it Snow Baby, Let it Reindeer”

Merry Christmas (almost)!!

‘Tis The Season! I LOVE Christmas time for several reasons. I LOVE presents (totally my love language). I LOVE having time off school (although this is one of the last Christmas breaks I will have… I have to be an adult soon with a real job… boo). I LOVE family and spending time with them. I LOVE Christmas music of all kinds (I love the classics, I love the cheesy pop versions, I love Christmas music that you can worship to, I love instrumental… I think you get it). And most importantly I LOVE what this time of year stands for.

Our savior was born… 

Last year God really opened my eyes to the fact that Jesus was born… to human parents… in a human way. I know it may seem simple, but if you really take time to think about it… man is it amazing. 

This “revelation” experience started a few years ago when I heard the song “I Celebrate The Day” by Reliant K (which is my absolute favorite Christmas song). Please take this time to listen to this song…  

Ok ok ok… So the song says “the first time that you opened your eyes did you realize that you would be my savior”. Mind. Blown. But after dwelling on this concept I have come to realization that no, this tiny infant was no different than you or I. Jesus had to hear his calling, he had to walk in the spirit, he had to fight temptation, AND mere humans raised him. STOP IT.

Can you imagine Mary and Joseph… oh hey, I just gave BIRTH to the savior of the world #NBD. The thought of humans (like you and I) having the responsibility of raising Jesus makes me seriously tear up. Like, how awesome and terrifying at the same time. I can’t imagine what that responsibility would feel like. But, God knew whom to call and he knew that they would raise HIS SON in a way that he would hear his calling, and walk in the spirit, and fight temptation, and save the world. But it started in a manger, with humans holding a very small, fragile, newborn baby with all the potential in the world. Wow. Justin Rizzo wrote a song called “Incarnation Song” and it is about this very thing (my second favorite Christmas song). I couldn't find this song anywhere on the interent to put in this blog. BUT you can buy it on iTunes and I strongly suggest that... Here is the chorus (the words in the whole song are extremely touching, but this part particularly):

“Your lying there so helpless, your lying there dependent, your lying there your unable to stand on your own. You’re unable to do anything at all. You are Lord, God made flesh. King of glory coming, crowned in lowliness. Christ is born, come to earth. God from everlasting was born a virgin birth”.

It’s EXTREMELY powerful. I think we see the powerful side of Jesus a lot (and I LOVE that part of Jesus, I’m all for justice and righteousness and miracles and all that cool stuff) but it really touches my heart to think that he was once fragile and couldn’t even speak… I think it helps us (at least me) to see the extreme human side of Jesus. It just makes it that much more real what he really did for us. Praise the Lord!

“I celebrate the day that you were born to die so someday I might pray for you to save my life… pray for you to save my life”.

Merry Christmas everyone! Dwell on this thought and be blessed this year! 

Turkey, Pumpkins, & Thankfulness

   So, everyone has been doing the “thankful-a-day” posts on facebook and it has seriously warmed my little heart. It has also inspired this blog! So, if you are still reminiscing about November (although December is here and Christmas is just around the corner!!!) this one is for you J.

November 1: Thankful for life. Life that God gave me. Life at all.

November 2: Family. I have the best in the world. Mom, Dad, you rule. Erin, I stinkin love you so         much. AND I have amazing in-laws. BAM!

November 3: A husband that I found early in life to help me through everything and be a strong supporter, encourager, and all around man!

November 4^: Susan and Kevin Morris The house we are living in for free!!!  You two are special and generous people. Everyone that I meet that knows you says that you two are some of the most compassionate, amazing people they know. Thank you for all you have done for us.

November 5: My job (making dreams come true). Although I am almost done with working at Davids Bridal, it has been a blessing to me and I have learned SO much.  

November 6: The right to vote (election day!)

November 7: Lamar MO. I love that town.  

November 8^: Running!

November 9^: Social media (keeping me connected with friends and family)

November 10: COFFEE (The fact that Tulsa has coffee shops)

November 11: Gods plan, cause mine is not as good as I think it is… ever.

November 12: America . I am grateful for my freedom and for those who have fought for it.

November 13: Shelby the stinkin dog

November 14: Oral Roberts University. I am beyond blessed to attend “the most joyful university in this or any parallel universe”.

November 15: Crafting

November 16^: God’s word. It never ceases to touch my heart in different ways.

November 17: The seasons (every one is beautiful and has its perks)

November 18:Friends (old and new)

November 19: Free Time (cherish it!)

November 20: Frozen Yogurt

November 21: An amazing home church, Lamar Family Ministries Center (and pastors J) And amazing church away from home (destiny church)

November 22: Thanksgiving. A day dedicated to food and being thankful…  

November 23: Health. My family is healthy, Thank the Lord!  

November 24: High school football. I absolutely LOVE watching my lil bro and relatives play. State Champs back to back! :D

November 25: My past. Without my past I wouldn’t have been led to where I am today and I wouldn’t be able to help people they way I will be able to help them now. Would I make different decisions if I could? Yes. But I am thankful for grace and the ability to learn and move on.

November 26: Hope for the future
November 27: Presents! (giving and receiving)

November 28: My SEESTER (her birthday was this day. 18 Years old… stop it, too weird)

November 29: Perseverance (finals, end of semester, homesick, everyday struggles) Romans 5:3  
November 30: That I have so much to be thankful for, blessed!

“Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.” Psalm 100:4

Hello everyone! You might not remember me, my name is Madison and I have proven to be one of the most inconsistent bloggers out there. But, I'm back!

Where did time go? Quick catch up on my life, I've been busy! I started (and am about to finish) my third semester at Oral Roberts University. Next semester will be my last and then I will be graduating in May. Where did time go? I am still working at Davids Bridal, making dreams come true every day. I still have a husband and a dog. So basically, not a lot has changed, but a lot will change soon. I can't believe Im graduating from college soon... I just started the application process for grad school and in about a year and a half Ill be a qualified grown up. AH. Where did time go???

Yes, I've been busy, but aren't we all! Something that I feel God has been showing me lately is this: "Although life sometimes seems like its flying by, take the time to stop and just gaze upon me. Take time to breathe. Take time to be creative." Now, understand that this is hard for me because I am extremely task oriented and I thrive on checking off things from my "list". But, I've really spent time the last few days and concentrated on doing this and I have been really blessed by it. I took time at work to not only help my customers, but talk to them and connect with them and I met some really great people and had some really encouraging conversations. I took time on my run this morning to just notice the beauty of fall and nature in itself. Small things in my life that I normally just "run right by" or that I just add to the list as a "sold commission"I have stopped to look at a little differently.

So today my blog is simple (gotta ease back into this). I encourage you this week to stop for a minute and appreciate what is around you. I think you will find that there are blessings all around. Although you might think your world is crazy and you might feel like you are running around like a chicken with your head cut off, God still wants you to realize that he is present among the madness (and it might not be so mad after all). Have a blessed week! I will see you SOON (I promise).

Psalm 46:10 "He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”"

Overcome

OVERCOME

Lately life has thrown me a series of obstacles that have challenged my overall stamina. 

I won't get into EVERY situation and every detail, but I have wanted to give up multiple times. 

It has not been a very "relaxing" summer. It's actually been a TON of hard work. 

(I guess that is growing up though, there is no summer vacation). 

I've been in an awkward limbo between, 

1.WAA I want to do nothing and be a child like every summer before.

and

2. I want to accomplish things, be an adult, and be productive this summer.

Anyways, I reached a point a few weeks ago that I was ready to quit. I couldn't see the way around the obstacle and I thought that even if I could get to the other side, there would be nothing better. Everything in me wanted to just give up 

(this has been a problem I've faced several time over the past year, God is teaching me something). 

My mom and my amazing husband encouraged me during this time.

So I pushed forward. 

I had probably 5 of the most challenging weeks of my life, no fun (no time for fun) but I accomplished what I set out to accomplish. My mom called me a few days after this accomplishment and shared a piece of wisdom with me. I answered the phone and the conversation went something like this:

"Madi, that is just the difference between people who succeed in life and people that don't"

"Mom, what are you talking about?"

"Im talking about not giving up when things get hard. Thats the difference. People who persevere, push through, even when things are hard and sucky are the same people in life who succeed."

I left the conversation feeling warm and fuzzy thinking, I have an amazing mom. But this phrase stuck with me during the following weeks. I had a couple other things happen where I was THIS close to giving up, but I remembered what my mom said. 

I guess the point I am trying to get across is that: 

You CAN do it. 

You are NOT a failure.

Whatever IT is, IT is not too hard. 

Don't listen to the voice that tells you you CANT. You can.

God has GOOD things for you. 

and

Growing up kinda sucks.

(but put on your big girl/boy panties and face it head on)

I love the quote that I put at the top of this blog by ee cummings. It does take courage to grow up. Sometimes it seems much easier to be a coward. But, I want to be who God want's me to be and when my little immature flesh tries to get in the way I have to remember that, 

"that is the difference between those who succeed and those who fail in life". 

So thanks mom. :) 

(P.S. I know I haven't posted in like 14 years, this would be why. Thanks for waiting.) 

Fathers be good to your daughters...

-So, obviously this is going to be a fathers day post. If you haven't noticed, all of my postings recently have had to do with a holiday of some sort. This is because I currently have no time to think about anything other than spanish, davids bridal, and holidays. Ok, end of disclaimer, lets get to the point of this blog. My dad.

My father is the COOLEST dad in the whole world. Seriously, try to find one that is cooler I dare you. Let just list the things about him that make him cooler than a penguin ice skating on an iceberg.

1. He is my dad. (anyone that is related to me is automatically awesome).

2. He is in a band.

3. He plays guitar. 

4. He loves Jesus. 

5. He parented 2 girls. 

6. He is always up for an adventure. 

7. He loves people. (and can relate/make friends with practically anyone) 

8. He was the dad that all of the boys in high school thought was cool.

9. He likes to "go visiting" 

10. He inspires others (especially me). 

Now dad, I am not going to write you a poem like I did for mom (mainly because I know your not into that "mushy" stuff, and I would probably make myself cry writing it). If I had more time I would write you a song, but I don't and plus we should do that together someday anyways. I could write down so many fun memories I have with you on this blog, I can't wait to make more! So my main goal is to just let you know that I love you so much. I know that you already know that but I can't say it enough. I am so proud to have you as my dad. It KILLS me that I can't be home to celebrate your fatherness this weekend. Next time I come home we are due for some hang out time. 

Until then, keep on keepin on, and by "on" I mean "awesome". 

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH DAD! 

Happy Fathers Day :) 

The only boy who could ever reach me... Was the son of a preacher man.

2 Years Ago...

June 5th 2010

I started a new journey.

Now, two years later, I look back and I cannot believe where that journey has already taken us. From Marshall Missouri to Tulsa Oklahoma! I am so glad that we got married when we did for SO many reasons, but most of all because we get to have so many years (and so many adventures) together :). The ups and downs have been crazy but one thing has been constant and that is my wonderful husband there by my side through every storm. There have been times that I thought without him I wouldn't have made it (A few times this previous school year). When I want to give up, he gives me vision and strength to continue. I am so happy that I found a man that balances me in the perfect way. He has shown me grace in a way that I didn't know was possible. He is a strong foundation, but a tender heart. He loves me, but loves God more. He is EVERYTHING I want. I love you Micah John! I am so proud of you and so honored to be your wife! I can't wait to see what is next in this journey. 

Adventure is out there! :D 

Ok. Now that the mushy part is over... I have been saving these quotes for a very special occasion. I thought maybe for Micah's birthday (I can probably collect more by then) but I can't contain it anymore. So, here is the beginning of what will be a long list of "Micahisms". And by "Micahisms"I mean ridiculous things that Micah says and does on a regular basis. I hope they bring you as much joy as they do me. 

"What the hay bales?"

"What the halibut?"

"What the Thessalonians?"

(He says you can add "what the" in front of anything and make it cool.)

"Great Gatsby."

(Whatever a gatsby is... is must be pretty great)

"Great gravy"

(He says, "that one isn't even an original")

"Preferential Treatment."

(He uses this sometimes to substitute for saying "good")

"That's Kind."

(He also uses this to substitute for saying "good")

Also... "Your Kind." 

(instead of saying "I like you", or "I love you")

Me- "Micah, will you build me a house with your bare hands like a cowboy?"

Micah- "Madi, I am going to build you a house with my bare brain."

"Golly Bob Howdy"

(He says this at least 3 times a day, sometimes for no reason at all)

"DEAR!"

....stay tuned for more "Micahisms" in September :)

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY DEAR!

(Us with our cake top on our 1st anniversary)

The Greatest Display of Love

Love is patient; love is kind. Love is not jealous; is not proud; is not conceited; does not act foolishly; is not selfish; is not easily provoked to anger; keeps no record of wrongs; takes no pleasure in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth; love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. ~I Corinthians 13:4-7


The greatest display of love is seen in the above bible verse. God created perfect love, He is the perfect lover. However, I have seen great qualities of this love displayed in the way my mother raised me. My mother is not only a beautiful women (on the inside and out) but she is brilliant, caring, and a women of God. I look up to her so much!
Considering it is almost mothers day I wanted to do more than just give her a card this year (which i will still do) to tell her what she means to me. I wanted EVERYONE to know how amazing she is and how grateful I am that she is my mom. So mom, this one is for you :).

(My Favorite pic of my mom)

The Greatest Display of Love is Found in My Mothers Hands 

Your hands cradled me after I was born. 

Full of love. Shaky but firm. 

You gave me life, in the most fragile form. 

Your hands raised me 

Full of frustration at times, Im sure.

You gave me a childhood, memories, and so much more. 

Your hands waved, as you sent me to school. 

Full of excitement, year after year.

You made me take that picture, even though it "wasn't cool"

(My first day of school. Mom took this pic every year)

Your hands comforted me, more times than one.

Full of compassion and empathy 

You gave me security when I had none. 

(My mom with me after my last cheerleading performance ever)

Your hands laced up my dress on the most important day of my life.

Full of joy and support, you laced me up tight

You gave me your blessing and I became a wife.

Someday I hope to have hands like you.  

You gave me everything

Just like a mother should do :)

Thank you for always being by my side, mom. I love you very very very much. You are one of my best friends. Thank you for raising me the way that you did. You an amazing mom.

For my fellow Vikings... and Golden Eagles

A year has gone by???? I am a "Senior"???? Is this real life????

                                                            (Me on my first day at ORU)

As I reflect on my first year at Oral Roberts University my heart is overwhelmed with gratitude at the opportunity I have been given. This school has been a direct answer to my prayers and I am so blessed to be able to be a part of it. I am achieving things I never imagined myself to achieve. As Oral said, "Make no little plans here". I have made friends here that I feel like I have known my entire life, friends that I know I will have for the rest of my life. I have professors that inspire and push me to places that I would have never dreamed to go. I go to a school where God is the center of everything. Going to school at a place with so much vision, that offers so much inspiration, is truly a privilege (and I pray that everyone at the school can see and appreciate how amazing this school really is). 

HOWEVER, I would not be able to appreciate this place for all that is is if I wouldn't have first been at Missouri Valley College. Valley was in no way "glamorous", but it was beautiful (in a way only few can comprehend... few).

                                          (Micah and I after one of my first games at MVC)

My Junior year of high school I visited MVC for the first time and vowed that I would never go there. God seems to enjoy showing us that we really should "never say never" (Him and Justin Bieber have that in common I suppose). I had NO idea why God was calling me to Valley (other than the fact my fiance felt a very strong call there). I went out of obedience (expectant, but reluctant), out of curiosity, and for cheerleading. I had no idea that Valley would have such an impact on me. I learned so much about myself, about my call, and about people. I was able to learn how to cherish precious relationships (my dear roommate that became my best friend, my cheerleading family, my fiance who became my husband). So many GOOD things happened to me at Valley. God prepared my heart for what I am doing now at ORU and I wouldn't trade those 2 years of my life for anything. So, thank you to everyone who I came into contact with at MVC. You are ALL precious to me and although I love where I am now, I think of you often. I know there are seeds planted on that soil and I am confident in the people who are still there to water them. I pray for you and the school still. VALLEY WILL ROLL!

Each season of life has brought me so much joy. I love living for God and all of the twist and turns involved. I am so excited for what the future holds and so thankful for the journey so far. Thank you for all who pray for me and who have been a part of it!

LOVE you all!!!!!

Long time no post. Heres a fairy tale for all!

First I would like to apologize for my absence. In my defense, I did warn you that I don't have time for this :). We had to write a fairy tale for the final assignment in my Composition class. I thought A LOT about this fairy tale. It has very significant meaning to me and is about one of my dearest friends. I hope you enjoy it!

The Artist

            Once upon a time, in a land closer than some would imagine, lived an ordinary girl with an ordinary name in an ordinary town. “Ugh,” May sighed as the only cloud in the otherwise clear sky covered the sun, blocking the source for her head start on a suntan. That’s just my luck, May thought as she peered over the rim of her sunglasses at the lack of sun in the sky. Disappointed, she lay there and began to think about all of the instances in her life where a cloud was obstructing her light: her parents divorce, trouble with boys, constantly being let down, her recent addiction, rehab, and being stuck in a town the size of a thumbnail. It was true that most of her life she had lived in the shadow of one thing or another. All that May ever wanted was to be loved and to make an impact on the world with her artistic abilities.

Out of the blue, putting an end to May’s daydream, a single pink blossom from a dogwood fell upon her torso. May sat up, startled by the duel irony of the flower; it was the same flower that she had tattooed on her back after her grandmothers passing and there was no dogwood tree in sight. How is this possible? She thought as she looked around for some sort of hint about the strange happening. The wind picked up and simultaneously her answer was found in the stream of dogwood blossoms dancing through the air. They seemed to be leading her somewhere, begging her to follow them into the woods. Impulsively she leaped out of her chair to follow the blossoms, like a child intrigued by where they might be taking her. May felt inspired, giddy almost, when suddenly she started hearing a familiar voice. She settled in behind a bush, eavesdropping on the scene before her. There stood a small crowd of people all different some dressed in rags. May realized in the midst of her spying that her sunglasses were gone. I must have dropped them in my desperate flee towards the woods… dang it, those were my favorite, she thought to herself.

Out of curiosity, May snuck out from behind the bush to a nearby tree so that she could be closer to the event. I know that voice, she thought. Although she could not see the man’s face, she knew that he was not a stranger. Her new vantage point caused her to discover the purpose of this gathering; the people were receiving rewards of some sort. The faces of the people looked perplexed, like maybe they didn’t even know why they were there. “Today, you all step up in rank,” said the familiar voice. May witnessed a women in rags receive a badge for being noble, a man with tired eyes being given a certificate for his faithfulness, and a small boy in full armor was given a sword recognizing that he was being honored for his bravery.

The familiar voice boomed, “May Jewel, would you please step up to receive your reward?” Startled, May stepped out gingerly from behind the tree. How did He know I was here, she thought as she obediently progressed toward the man, whose face was hidden by the sunbeam that was piercing her eyes through the tree’s canopy. I guess that cloud finally moved, May thought, I wish I had those sunglasses. “May, I know that you are an artist because you are the hardest one to deal with,” said the man. The crowd giggled at his statement. “Today I present you with this ring so that you know I acknowledge your perseverance”. May began to tear up as she realized who the man was, The Artist. “I am not deserving of this reward sir,” said May, as her heart melted in her chest. “No, you are not, but you will be.” The man grinned and his smile seemed to reach across his entire face, a welcoming smile. “You have been given great gifts, and although you have lived in the shadow you will soon step into the light. Use those gifts May. Think of this ring as a promise for your future. Good things are going to happen to you.”

Sweat dripped down May’s neck, heat consuming her body. Her eyes fluttered open and she was back on her chair basking in the sun. I must have fallen asleep, she thought, and the sun must have decided to come out from behind that cloud. She examined her sun burned body as well as her hand, hoping for a second that the ring in her dream would be present on her finger. I wonder how long I was asleep… and what a strange dream that was. May peeled herself out of her chair to go get a drink from inside. Halfway to the door she realized she had forgotten her sunglasses but when she turned around to retrieve them they were not there. What she did see made her heart race and her hope come to life; a small pink dogwood blossom resting under her chair, no tree in sight.

“But we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” Romans 5: 3-5           

True Life: I want a tattoo

Attention all readers... apparently I have a rebellious side. Tattoos and nose rings have been on my mind lately. I don't know if I am just having a mid-college life crisis or what, but I have really been considering one or both of these things to be a part of who I am.

I have been contemplating the idea of a tattoo for about... 2 years now.
Before you freak out (mom and micah), I will first list the reasons that this probably wont happen.
1. My mother will no longer help me pay for school. This is a problem considering that school is sorta a huge expense...
2. My husband does not prefer that this happen.
3. Im kinda scared.
4. Im afraid that I would hate my tattoo in approximately 20 years.

BUT if I were to get one, these are the tattoos that I would consider.
I love the placement of this tattoo..... but this is the one that I would be the least likely to get... (mine would be smaller though).

The pros to this tattoo would be that I could have part of my favorite chapter in the bible tattooed (Isaiah 61). I consider this to be a huge part of my calling and would love to have these words on my body so that I could be constantly reminded of this calling. However, no one would see this tattoo (besides during the summer) and it would hurt really bad. Also, the whole point of getting a tattoo would be to use it as a means to talk to people about Jesus and people would not see this tattoo enough to be used as a ministry tool.

Of corse, I enjoy the less obvious tattoo placement of this tattoo...

If I were to get a tattoo here, I would have it say the word "eternity".  This would be a really good conversation starter and hopefully would make people ponder eternity and where they are headed.

Like I said, the chances that I will actually get a tattoo are slim. But I have pondered it quite a bit. An alternative idea that I have come up with is the idea of getting a white-ink tattoo. These are less obvious, and less of a commitment because (from what I hear/read) they fade within approximately 5-10 years. However, they look kinda creepy (like scars)... see

Its a possibility.
Hmmmmm..... Madi has a rebellious side? Who would have ever guessed :)
I just love creativity and expression of creativity.
Summer 2012 possibly?
Guess you will have to wait and see :)

The Weight of Glory

I can't believe I am going to write a blog about something I read for school... but I am. I am fortunate to go to an amazing school that loves to talk about Jesus, Oral Roberts University. Because of this, we get to read really cool stuff that has to do with Jesus :). I will start by saying I am SO grateful for that because I haven't always had that luxury (all of those reading from Missouri Valley may now reply "Amen").

We read "The Weight of Glory" by C.S. Lewis for my comp 303 class (which I was sorta bitter about having to take because I felt that I had already taken it, transferring sucks). It was sorta long, really dense, and at times hard to pay attention to BUT I ended up being extremely blessed by it, so now I shall share that with you.

Here is a brief synopsis of what the essay is about: Lewis mentions some of the promises that we are entitled to as believers (1. we shall be with Christ 2. we shall be like Him 3. with an enormous wealth of imagery, we shall have "glory" 4. we shall be fed or feasted or entertained and 5. we shall have some sort of official position in the universe, ruling cities, etc). Lewis focus, however, is on promise 3: that we shall have glory. Wow... GLORY, me? us? Yes.

So what does this mean? Are we even worthy of glory? Lewis brings this up, the fact that Christians are uncomfortable being rewarded at all, especially with glory. Lewis explains this beautifully when he says, "The reward he is going to get will, in actual fact, be a natural or proper reward, but he will not know that until he has got it.". I believe the previous quote is how we remain humble. The reason we are so uncomfortable with the fact that we will be rewarded with glory is because we feel we are unworthy (and we are, BUT His grace...). We feel that in order to achieve a great reward we must do something great. But God remembers EVERYTHING we do, he especially likes to remember all of the good things we do (Mark 9:41-I tell you the truth, anyone who gives you a cup of water in my name because you belong to Christ will certainly not lose his reward). God is so good, and he rewards us according to our good works. Every person is destined for glory (according to Lewis) but the beauty is that God gave us a free will, the ability to choose to claim that glory or not.

What really got me was the discussion in class. We discussed the fact that if we really view everyone as destined for glory, how then will that change the way we treat people. I found myself welling up with tears in class because of how heavy this notion is. When you really see people as either destined for glory, or not, it becomes this incredibly heavy issue. Like, everything I say to someone is ultimately assisting them into glory or to horrible corruption. Heavy. Lewis closes the essay by making the point that because of this very premiss, "there is no ordinary people". You are not ordinary because God is extraordinary and He made you in His image. You are extraordinary, destined for glory.

"The load, or weight, or burden of my neighbor's glory should be laid on my back, a load so heavy that only humility can carry it, and the backs of the proud will be broken."

James 4:6 
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:"God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."

1 Peter 5:2-4 Feed the flock of God which is among you, taking the oversight [thereof], not by constraint, but willingly; not for filthy lucre, but of a ready mind;

Neither as being lords over [God's] heritage, but being ensamples to the flock.

And when the chief Shepherd shall appear, ye shall receive a crown of glory that fadeth not away.

The V Day.

Hello All,

As we come off of one of the most hyped up holidays (that really felt like more of a normal Tuesday for me) I would like to leave you with some of my thoughts/highlights of the day.

This is my second Valentines day as a married woman. Needless to say, it was the best one yet! So what did we do? Go on a date? Eat a candle light dinner at home? Watch the notebook and reflect back on our first date? No sir. All of those things are great (maybe exaggerated the last one a bit), but lets be real, none of those things are practical on Valentines day. Restaurants are packed out the door, movies are full as well... and plus what makes one day of the year more lovable than the rest?

My honey came in from school today (after sending me texts about how horrible traffic was) and the first thing out of his mouth was, "Valentines Fail!" :(. The poor guy had drove all the way, battling horrible Valentines Day traffic, to the mall to get me a phone case that I had expressed interest in and they didn't have the right one for my phone! He was trying so hard to be thoughtful (because I am very anti-flowers, so he has to be creative with gifts). Although his efforts were very appreciated, and might I add adorable, I ended up with no physical gift for Valentines day. But what I did receive was even greater!

We ate dinner, conversed about some things that were on my heart, worked out (found out that we actually really motivate each other while working out), and then just hung out. Simplicity is bliss in our marriage. We plan on going to a movie/out to eat maybe this weekend once all the V-day crazies go home and return to being bland.

So, I guess the lesson learned is that when there is no time for elaborate ValenTIMES... make time :).
I love my hubby.
I love you.
Happy Valentines Day!!!!!!

Seriously though, do I have time for this?

Alright, heres the deal. Im being very vulnerable right now and quite frankly it makes me a little uncomfortable. I've wanted to start a blog for a while now but have been rather intimidated. After several deeply considered attempts, followed by backing out, I have finally decided to pull up my big girl panties and take a leap. You never grow without first becoming uncomfortable. So here. we. go. (Im cringing as a write this).

I feel like I am an inspirational, creative, sporadic kind of person. Perfect for blogging right? Hopefully. Ok but seriously, I am a creative person and I have been searching for a good outlet. So here we go, what am I going to write about in this time that I don't have you may wonder? Well... I have no idea but I'll try to give you a rough outline.

I love Jesus with all my heart, He is my inspiration and will be for most of my posts. I also love Micah John. He is a full time law student and full time child, the two make an interesting pair that I know as my husband. He will provide some interesting topics to discuss as well. I also am a full time student, wife, employee, and friend. My life is full of hilarious times, tough times, and not enough time. I plan to begin to document all of these cherished times in this little blog.

I can't wait to start this step of faith. (eeeek... I feel like I'm signing the yearbook of someone really important or something...).