YET I still belong to You.

Psalm 73:22-23 

"I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you 

YET 

I still belong to you...

You hold me by my right hand. 

You will guide me with Your counsel,

And afterward receive me to glory."

Do you ever feel like a straight up skum bag? 

I know I do. 

Apparently David felt like one as well.

I was reading Psalm 73 the other day and God just began to speak to me on so many levels. But the biggest thing he reminded me of is that even when we are arrogant, or even when we slip, we STILL belong to Him. Its powerful. He brings me back to this reality often and I always learn new things about what it means. Theres something powerful about the word, "Yet." It has many definitions but this one is my favorite: 

"Still; even (used to emphasize increase or repetition)."

 or 

"but at the same time, but nevertheless"

We repeatedly fall. Our flesh fails. BUT at the same time, nevertheless, God still wants us. He likes us. He knew what he was getting into when He called you!

Did you know that God desires communion with you? We were made for love, because the Father loves. We were made to love the Father, but he also created us so that He could love on us! 

He delights in our weak, weak love.

Have you just sat in His presence lately? 

Just told him you loved him? 

Just gazed on His beauty?

Often we go to Him with requests, with intercession for others. He hears you and He wants you to ask, but sometimes He just wants us to sit with him and let Him fill you up. He will. 

There's nothing sweeter.  

I can just feel him on my heart so strong today saying "push away the distractions, your stress relievers, I am here... I can fill that space, I can be your relief. Even now in your weakness." 

I always try to write this blog from an honest place. Today is no different. This is what God is sharing with me right now and what I am striving for right now. I hope that it touches a place in your heart. I hope it provokes you to listen to the heart of the Father. I hope it makes you curious to just try it, try turning off the noise, and just sitting. This is one of the hardest things for me to do personally. But man, when I do I feel so safe, so secure, so whole. 

If you want to try this today. Here is a worship set that I can just sit in for hours. One of my favorites and at about 43:00 it reflects everything that I just wrote in this blog. Heres the link:

http://www.ihopkc.org/onething/#asset/523E89E2-80B2-25F2-3882-49A520148F18/auto/true

[extra]Ordinary Moment

Today was one of those days that you drive home in complete silence because there is no sound sweet enough, no lyric poetic enough, to compare to the reality of an experience. Let me tell you a story...

2:17 pm I am at work and get a phone call from a man, Eric, who is simply returning a call from a number he didn’t know. I inform him that it was probably one of our prayer call volunteers who calls members of the church to ask how we can be praying for them today. The conversation went something like this:

Confused, he responds, “Ok…”

Me: “So, anything we can be praying for you about today?” (routine answer)

E: “Actually… yes.”

Now, I’m used to getting these calls… people wondering why they are getting a weird call, only to find out its their church, i take the prayer request, have a nice day. This time was different though.

            E: “I just want to get back on the right track… with God.”

            Me: “Ok, well is there anything specific (I started into the digging deeper process so I could fill               out my prayer request card)… or... can I pray for you now?”

I don’t always offer this. But I just felt like… eh… why not? He accepted. I prayed for him, a pretty general prayer. Nothing super. Just a small prayer, 30 seconds of my time. After ending the prayer, Eric said…

            E: “Thank you so much. What church did you say you were from?”

HAHA! He most definitely was not a member of the church, in fact, he didn’t even know where the church was located because he lived in another town! Tickled, I told my boss, “Well I guess he just needed someone to pray with him today.”

2:46 pm The phone rings again… I answer. Its Eric.

E: “I’m sorry… I am just still sitting here trying to figure out… how did you get my number? Haha!”

After we discussed all possible options… there was no natural way that we could make sense of the phone call. Wrong number was the most realistic answer we could come up with… 

A wrong number I would argue to say was actually the right number.

Eric continued to inform me that he was going through a very rough time, and I won’t go into all of the details, but that phone call was not by accident. He told me how the phone call happened at the absolute perfect time. He told me that he knew that God had heard him. Eric told me how God wrecked him in that moment, in awe of the power of the Holy Spirit to speak to us and use others to speak to us.

He thanked me.

In my usual awkward manner, I thanked him in return. 

But the reality was I was just as in awe as he was!

I hung up the phone… for the second time. But before I continued my work…

I smiled,

took a deep breath,

and held back tears.

I go to my job, my job where it is in the description to pray for people’s needs, and I do that every day. My job that I am humbled to have, but some days still feels like work. I make it a point to call people and pray with them, I WORK at doing this… very hard… and so does everyone I work with. But in that moment, God simply reminded me that He will put those in our path that need to be.

I smiled because it made me feel…. Relieved… to know that despite all of MY efforts, God knows who to place where and at what time. 

Effortlessly.

I took a deep breath because it made me realize that as long as we are obedient to that small voice that says… Pray for him now… that God takes care of the rest. 

Powerfully

I held back tears because I realized… He used me. 

Humbling.

So, as I drove my car in silence, for the 15 min trip home, I decided to share this with you. 

Two blogs back to back… I’m on a roll!  :) 

I hope it encourages you to pray for someone. I thought Eric was a member of our church, but he might as well have been a stranger at the grocery store. Now, I’m not saying to go grab a stranger at the grocery store and pray for them… your kids would be embarrassed and the stranger might not “feel the anointing.” What I am saying is, be sensitive to opportunities. 

Don’t say “I’ll be praying for you” when it is just as easy to say, “Can I pray for you now?” 

Don’t know what to pray? Just open your mouth. God doesn’t need your words anyways, He just needs that open door.

Try it.

I bet things will change for you.

4 Months Later...

Hey... There... Folks.

It's me again, procrastinating studies as usual.
I DO NOT have a clear direction for this blog. No life lesson. Just wanna say hello.

I've given my blog a facelift, as you can see. I've been inspired recently and have done some thinking about what exactly I want to do with this blog. We already know I don't have time for it, but yet here it is... staring at me, begging me to write words.

I've changed the name of my blog to "Discovering Madi" because I feel like this is what this page has become. Me, being vulnerable, and sharing with YOU these things in my life that are shaping me, leading me to discover deeper and deeper who I really am. A never ending process, but a beautiful one at that.

I enjoy writing. When I'm not being forced to write for school, or work :)
Funny how our gifts can sometimes seem like a burden.
I can't explain why I come back to this blog.
Maybe I hope that you read it and it puts into words what you've been feeling.
Or maybe I hope that I will write and figure out what I'm trying to say, or what I've been feeling.
All I know is I want to do it.
(I hope to do it more when I'm done with school FOREVER in 4 months.)
I want to because I love the way I feel when I read something inspiring.
I want to because I can't just let that inspiration sit inside of me, I must share it!
I want to because, sometimes I think we get caught up in our 140 character status' and forget that we have more to say.

It always amazes me when I come back to this blog, read my own words, and see how far I've come from the last post. How fast time flies, so fleeting, so important. It provokes me to continue. It encourages me to look at all of the small things in my life that are actually... quite great.

So heres to a new look, new understanding, new experiences, and new commitments.
Hopefully I will be back soon, writing about something with more of a purpose.
Until then...
Give yourself credit for your own thoughts. They matter. Write it down, even if it is just to encourage yourself in few months :)

You are an Overcomer